Section 1
History impacts on the colour of the artistic world.
"History" profoundly influences the "color" of the artistic world, where "color" represents each artist's unique style, cultural richness, and creative voice. This research explores the experiences of three artists from diverse backgrounds, each of whom draws from their personal histories, cultural heritage, and wider historical contexts to shape their artistic identity. Through a close examination of their perspectives, it becomes evident that history's influence transcends simple nationality or geographical background. Rather, it encompasses a broader range of acquired characteristics, personal experiences, and cultural values that together contribute to each artist’s distinctive "color" within their creative world.
Malaysian composer Nien Chin Chai introduces her artistic world as a "hybrid," a fusion of Eastern and Western musical traditions. Growing up in a multicultural society, Chai’s compositions reflect her rich cultural background, combining the formal structures of Western classical music with the intricate sounds of Chinese traditional instruments. Her journey began with classical piano, a Western instrument, but she developed a unique connection to the pipa, a traditional Chinese instrument with deep historical roots. The pipa's timbre and symbolism add a layer of historical and cultural authenticity to Chai’s music, providing her with a sense of continuity with her heritage and enabling her to bring forward a distinctively Malaysian voice in the world of contemporary classical music.
In her interview, Chai elaborates on the essential role her instruments play in her creative process:
[Susie]
So the second question will be, what are the essential tools for your artistic world, like to create your art, basically?
[Nien Chin]
I would say, although I'm a composer, you would expect a manuscript or a notation software, but I would say the piano and also the pipa, a Chinese instrument.
The piano, a symbol of her Western musical foundation, and the pipa, a bridge to her Chinese heritage, both serve as conduits for Chai’s inspiration. When she feels disconnected from her work, the act of playing these instruments—especially the pipa—helps her reconnect with her cultural roots and historical identity. The pipa’s role in Chai’s work is not just instrumental; it embodies her hybrid identity, providing an authentic sound that links her to centuries of Chinese music traditions while simultaneously merging with the Western harmonic language in which she composes. This fusion of traditions allows Chai to bring a unique "color" to her compositions, one that is vibrant with cultural contrasts and harmonious integration.
Chai further reflects on how her mixed cultural background has shaped her artistic identity, describing her style as "hybrid":
[Susie]
That’s really interesting, though. So the third question will be, how would you describe your artistic world in two words, and would you tell me why?
[Nien Chin]
Let me have a talk about this. I will pop up the first one, hybrid, because I have a mixed background of Chinese traditional music and also Western classical, which is strange enough that I started piano earlier than pipa, but pipa really has a very strong influence on me, because I was in an orchestra for six years, and lots of repertoires, lots of input. It has really formed a very unique language in me when I composed.
Through her integration of these two musical traditions, Chai demonstrates how history provides artists with a palette from which they can draw to shape their individual colors. Her music, influenced by years of classical training and traditional Chinese orchestration, is both a personal expression and a preservation of cultural legacy. The color of her artistic world is deeply tied to her historical background, proving that history remains an active, dynamic presence within the process of artistic creation.
Pianist and composer Jonathan Moon’s experiences similarly highlight the role of personal history in shaping an artist’s style. Moon recalls two formative moments in his life that contributed to the "color" of his musical world. The first was at age 11, when he began arranging music independently, experimenting with various genres that ranged from string quartets to band arrangements. The second was during his BA, a period marked by his exposure to a wide spectrum of musical styles, from classical compositions to experimental improvisation. These experiences not only expanded his musical vocabulary but also allowed him to explore and discover elements that would come to define his unique artistic voice.
Moon recounts:
[Jonathan Moon]
I think there is two significant moments. One is when I started arranging music by myself. I guess it was around 11. It was diverse from string quartet to band sound, but throughout the process I gradually realized what my musical taste is.
Through these early encounters, Moon began to piece together his own musical identity, drawing from the sounds and styles he found compelling. The act of arranging music introduced him to the possibilities of blending traditional forms with contemporary influences. This interplay between structure and experimentation became a hallmark of his work, adding a unique color to his compositions.
Moon’s second formative experience took place during his university years, where he engaged with a diverse array of musical genres. This exposure broadened his understanding of music, encouraging him to incorporate new styles into his own work:
[Jonathan Moon]
During uni, I had been exposed to all sort of music from classical pieces to experimental improvisation; chaos. These various styles of music enable me to broaden my artistic horizon and find bits and bits I like from those. Eventually, it helps setting up the tone of my music.
The musical chaos Moon experienced during his BA allowed him to embrace diverse influences, setting up a musical palette filled with contrasting hues and textures. His history of exploration and experimentation has directly shaped the color of his artistic world, imbuing his compositions with layers of complexity and depth. Through these experiences, Moon exemplifies how an artist’s personal history, including the music they encounter, the people they work with, and the challenges they face—contributes to a dynamic and evolving artistic identity.
In addition to cultural heritage and formative experiences, historical events can also play a significant role in shaping an artist’s approach.
Dancer Quincey Kawahara speaks to the importance of community within her artistic practice, emphasizing that dance is not merely a personal endeavor but a shared experience that relies on connection and collaboration. However, during a period of isolation, Kawahara was forced to adapt her practice to a virtual format, a change that fundamentally challenged her understanding of dance and altered the color of her artistic world.
Kawahara describes the challenges of adapting to this new form of dance:
[Quincey Kawahara]
But not being able to take dance classes in the same way was really, really challenging, because I think dance is so much about community and also about interacting with people in your class, and only being able to see them over a screen was something that was really hard to adjust to. Not only that, but the limit of space was also something that was challenging.
The shift to virtual dance classes due to social restrictions underscored the importance of physical presence and communal energy in Kawahara’s creative process. Her experience reveals that for many artists, the "color" of their work is not just shaped by their own histories, but also by the historical contexts in which they live and create. The limitations she encountered highlighted the irreplaceable value of shared spaces and face-to-face interactions in dance, deepening her appreciation for the community aspect of her art form. As a result, her artistic color became more complex, incorporating themes of resilience, adaptation, and the value of human connection.
Through these stories, we see that the "color" of the artistic world is influenced by an intricate web of historical, cultural, and personal factors. Nien Chin Chai’s hybrid musical language, Jonathan Moon’s genre-blending compositions, and Quincey Kawahara’s emphasis on community all reflect a deep engagement with their respective histories. These influences are not merely decorative elements but essential components of their artistic identities, allowing each artist to contribute a unique perspective to the world of contemporary art.
History, in the context of art, is both a reservoir of tradition and a source of ongoing inspiration. It serves as a foundation from which artists can innovate, reinterpret, and redefine their creative expressions. The artists featured here demonstrate that by engaging with their histories, whether through cultural heritage, formative experiences, or responses to broader societal changes, they are able to shape their own distinctive colors. Their work is a testament to the transformative power of history, showing that an artist’s identity is not static but continuously enriched by past influences and present experiences.
In conclusion, history profoundly shapes the color of the artistic world. Whether through traditional sounds, genre exploration, or the shared nature of community art forms, each artist draws from their historical background to bring a unique color to their work. This color shift is not just a nod to the past; it is an active, dynamic process that reflects the artist's personal journey and the evolving world around them. Through their engagement with history, these artists remind us that art is an ever-evolving dialogue between past and present, tradition and innovation, personal experience, and collective memory.
Section 2
Shifts in the Artistic World: A Journey of Transformation
Art has always been a dynamic realm, subject to changes that reflect both societal evolution and individual growth. Artists, as the conduits of this transformation, often navigate a complex relationship with their artistic worlds. The concept of shifts; whether due to personal challenges, external circumstances, or evolving identities; plays a crucial role in shaping this relationship. Through the experiences of composer Nien Chin Chai, dancer Quincey Kawahara, and pianist/composer Jonathan Moon, we see how these shifts manifest in their artistic journeys. Each artist’s story reveals that, despite the challenges faced, the love for their craft endures, leading to profound personal and artistic growth.
Nien Chin Chai: A Shift from Performance to Composition
Nien Chin Chai’s journey exemplifies a significant shift driven by unexpected obstacles. As a talented pianist, she faced a career-altering diagnosis of focal dystonia, a neurological condition that impairs motor control. During an interview, she reflected on this transition, stating, “It is a big obstacle even until now.” The inability to control her hands marked a profound turning point in her artistic life. For an artist whose identity was deeply intertwined with performance, this challenge felt like the end of a crucial chapter.
The shift from performer to composer was not an easy one for Nien Chin. “I just had to stop my studies for a year to go through rehab,” she explained. This pause not only disrupted her education but also forced her to confront her identity as an artist. Initially, she felt “betrayed” and “defeated,” questioning why such an obstacle had befallen her despite her dedication and hard work. This emotional turmoil is a familiar experience for many artists; the struggle to reconcile personal aspirations with unforeseen challenges often leads to profound self-reflection.
However, Nien Chin’s journey took a positive turn as she began to explore composing music, an avenue she had not previously considered. “I opted for another way out... composing is the first thing that popped up in my mind,” she recalled. This shift was not just a reaction to her circumstances but an opportunity for discovery and growth. It compelled her to reevaluate her position within the artistic world and recognize that performing was not the only expression of her musicality. Through this lens, Nien Chin’s story reflects a broader theme: the idea that limitations can sometimes lead to unexpected avenues of creativity.
Despite the challenges, she acknowledges that her love for music “never left.” This sentiment speaks to the resilience of artists; even when faced with significant hurdles, their passion for their craft often persists, guiding them toward new paths. Nien Chin's relationship with her artistic world evolved, allowing her to embrace her role as a composer while maintaining a deep connection to the essence of music.
Quincey Kawahara: The Impact of the Pandemic
Quincey Kawahara’s artistic journey presents a different but equally poignant narrative of transformation. As a dancer, she found herself grappling with the challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic, which drastically altered the way she engaged with her art. In an interview, Quincey shared, “I think the pandemic was so profound and had such a big effect on the arts.” The abrupt shift to online classes and the inability to dance in communal settings were significant hurdles for her as an artist.
Dance, at its core, is an embodiment of connection and community. Quincey described the difficulty of transitioning to virtual classes, stating, “Not being able to take dance classes in the same way was really, really challenging.” This lack of physical presence not only affected her technical training but also disrupted the essential social interactions that enrich the dance experience. The isolation forced upon her by the pandemic brought her closer to the realization of how integral community is to her artistic identity.
Reflecting on her journey, Quincey expressed her struggles with self-worth, saying, “I’ve struggled a lot with like self-worth and whether or not I deserve to be pursuing dance professionally.” This internal conflict is common among artists, often exacerbated by external challenges such as those presented by the pandemic. The fear of inadequacy can be paralyzing, leading to a reevaluation of one’s commitment to their art. Quincey articulated this struggle well, sharing her experience of taking a gap year after university, during which she distanced herself from dance.
Yet, this separation also sparked a realization: “I realized I prematurely gave it up.” This moment of clarity emphasized that the love for her art was still alive, waiting to be reignited. Quincey’s journey underscores the notion that sometimes, stepping back from a passion allows for a renewed appreciation of it. Through this period of reflection, she began to approach dance with a “lighter mindset,” recognizing that art should bring joy and fulfillment.
The pandemic, while a significant obstacle, ultimately became a catalyst for Quincey’s growth as an artist. It forced her to confront her feelings about dance and her place within the artistic community. She noted that the connection she had with her peers and the physicality of dance were elements she had taken for granted. This newfound awareness enriched her relationship with her artistic world, illustrating that shifts, even when painful, can lead to deeper connections and a more profound understanding of oneself.
Jonathan Moon: Embracing Flexibility in Artistic Identity
In contrast to Nien Chin and Quincey, Jonathan Moon’s artistic journey highlights the importance of flexibility in navigating the artistic world. He describes his relationship with his art as adaptable, stating, “My artistic world and myself as well is flexible.” Jonathan’s perspective offers a refreshing take on the notion of artistic identity. Rather than being defined by a singular experience or challenge, he embraces the idea that one’s artistic journey can be fluid and ever-changing.
Jonathan acknowledges that while he has not faced significant challenges thus far, he remains open to future shifts. He notes, “If I need to confront a moment when I really need to define myself, I will struggle a lot. Then the journey to define would be the challenge itself.” This acknowledgment reflects a deep understanding of the complexities involved in artistic identity. He suggests that the process of defining oneself as an artist can be fraught with difficulty, yet it is an essential part of growth.
The flexibility Jonathan speaks of resonates with the broader theme of resilience among artists. He indicates that vulnerability is an inherent aspect of being an artist, and navigating that vulnerability can lead to self-discovery. His readiness to face potential challenges speaks to the proactive mindset many artists adopt in their journeys. Rather than fearing the unknown, Jonathan chooses to embrace it, highlighting the importance of adaptability in the ever-evolving landscape of the arts.
Interconnected Themes of Growth and Resilience
The experiences of Nien Chin, Quincey, and Jonathan illustrate interconnected themes of growth and resilience in the face of adversity. Each artist, in their unique way, has confronted challenges that prompted shifts in their artistic trajectories. Nien Chin’s transition from performer to composer, Quincey’s struggle with self-worth and community, and Jonathan’s embrace of flexibility all speak to the complexities of maintaining a relationship with one’s artistic world.
Moreover, these narratives highlight the enduring nature of passion for art. Despite the obstacles, Nien Chin’s love for music remained steadfast, as did Quincey’s connection to dance. Jonathan’s flexibility allows him to navigate his artistic identity without being confined by rigid definitions. This resilience is a testament to the power of art as a source of inspiration, healing, and self-expression.
As artists navigate their respective journeys, the shifts they experience can lead to deeper insights and stronger connections to their crafts. Nien Chin’s realization that the artistic world “never left” her underscores the idea that, even in times of change, the essence of artistry persists. Similarly, Quincey’s rediscovery of her passion for dance during the pandemic emphasizes the importance of community and connection. Jonathan’s flexible approach to his artistic identity reinforces the notion that embracing change can lead to personal growth and a richer understanding of oneself as an artist.
The narratives of Nien Chin Chai, Quincey Kawahara, and Jonathan Moon illustrate the profound impact of shifts on the relationship between artists and their artistic worlds. These shifts, whether stemming from personal challenges or external circumstances, often lead to a reevaluation of one’s identity as an artist. Through their experiences, we see that resilience and adaptability are crucial in navigating the complexities of artistic life.
Ultimately, the love for art remains a guiding force, allowing artists to forge new paths and deepen their connections to their crafts. In this ever-evolving landscape, shifts make something more in the relationship between the artist and the artistic world, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and renewed passion.
In exploring these journeys, we are reminded that art is not merely a product of individual talent but a reflection of the human experience—one that encompasses struggles, triumphs, and an unwavering love for creation.
*What is this related to regarding the platonic love between the artist and the artistic world?
After artists talked about their shifts in the artistic world, the following questions were posed:
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How does your artistic world react to you? How does it speak to you?
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How do you feel about your relationship with your artistic world?
They answered in various ways but clearly expressed that there is 'love.'
Section 3
The Platonic Love Between Artists and Their Artistic Worlds
The connection between artists and their artistic worlds can be described as a form of platonic love, where the relationship is deep, complex, and often transformative. This notion of love transcends mere admiration; it encompasses a profound emotional and creative bond that influences an artist’s identity and work. Through discussions with artists such as dancer Quincey Kawahara, composer Nien Chin Chai, and pianist Jonathan Moon, we can explore how they articulate their relationships with their artistic worlds and the various ways this connection manifests in their creative practices.
Artists’ Reflections on Their Artistic Worlds
Artists consistently express a sense of love and connection toward their artistic worlds. When prompted about how their artistic worlds react to them and communicate with them, their responses reveal a tapestry of emotions that define their creative relationships. Quincey Kawahara encapsulates this sentiment when she refers to dance as her "first love," emphasizing the foundational role that dance plays in her life. She remarks, “It was my first love... the first thing I fell in love with on my own.” This framing underscores how the artistic world serves not just as a platform for expression but as a vital aspect of her identity.
Quincey’s dialogue illustrates the intricate nature of the relationship between an artist and their art. The words chosen by each artist, shaped by their experiences, industry, and personal journeys, highlight the existence of a deep relationship between them and their artistic realms. For instance, she articulates the duality of structure and freedom in dance. While set choreography provides a framework, improvisation allows her to navigate her emotions freely, showcasing the dialogue between her inner self and the art form.
Communication as Love Language
The interactions between artists and their artistic worlds can be likened to a unique "love language." This communication goes beyond verbal expression, manifesting through movement, sound, and emotion. For Quincey, dance becomes a vehicle for self-exploration, where she discovers unarticulated feelings and emotions. “When I give myself time to just move, it becomes a space where I begin to understand things I didn’t understand before about how I’m feeling.” This reveals the therapeutic and cathartic aspects of her dance practice, where the movement itself becomes a conversation, allowing her to express what might remain unvoiced.
Nien Chin Chai offers a contrasting perspective rooted in sound and composition. She expresses that her relationship with music involves listening and responding rather than solely dictating. “When I write some stuff out, I might play it on the instrument to see how it actually sounds,” she explains. This interaction signifies a collaborative relationship where the music guides her, much like a conversation where both parties influence each other. Nien acknowledges that while she may strive for control in her compositions, the sound itself often leads her in unexpected directions, demonstrating a mutual influence akin to a loving relationship.
Jonathan Moon further exemplifies this dynamic by describing how improvisation creates an autonomous process in his creative practice. “When I have some idea and play it, it’ll make sound... it leads my body to where it wants to go.” This notion of being led by the artistic world emphasizes the fluidity and interdependence inherent in the artist-art world relationship. Each note and movement reflects a dialogue that resonates with his emotions and experiences, reinforcing the concept of love as an active, communicative force.
Navigating Exposure and Vulnerability
Despite the deep connections that artists describe with their artistic worlds, there is also an acknowledgment of vulnerability and exposure. Quincey discusses the challenge of feeling safe during improvisation, especially in performance settings. While improvisation can foster a sense of freedom, it can also evoke feelings of exposure. She explains, “Improvisation feels less safe... because you’re putting yourself out there without the safety net of rehearsal.” This acknowledgment of vulnerability is critical, as it reflects the emotional stakes involved in creative expression.
Quincey’s perspective on safety shifts as she gains experience and familiarity with improvisation. “I think I feel safer in it than learning a set piece,” she states, highlighting how building a relationship with her art form has increased her confidence and sense of security. The evolution of this relationship illustrates how time and practice can cultivate a sense of belonging and safety within the artistic world, transforming initial apprehensions into a deeper understanding of oneself.
Nien Chin also touches upon the challenges of control and the impact on her artistic identity. She candidly admits, “Losing control means that you can’t be so controlling anymore.” This loss of control can feel harsh and can reshape her personality, but it also opens up space for growth and flexibility. Nien recognizes that surrendering to the artistic process allows for the development of new ideas, reflecting the complex dance between autonomy and submission within their relationship.
The Impact of Age, Industry, and Positioning
The choices artists make in articulating their relationships with their artistic worlds are influenced by various factors, including their age, industry, and positionality. Quincey’s youthful enthusiasm and emphasis on exploration are characteristic of someone in the early stages of their artistic journey. Her eagerness to engage with her craft reflects a formative period where experimentation and self-discovery are paramount.
In contrast, Nien’s reflections highlight a more mature understanding of the complexities involved in artistic creation. Her acknowledgment of the struggle to feel reciprocation in her relationship with her artistic world (“I love it, but I haven’t felt the love from it”) showcases a nuanced perspective shaped by experiences that have tested her commitment. This duality of love and struggle exemplifies how artists navigate their emotional landscapes and the evolution of their relationships over time.
Jonathan’s insights further illustrate the idea of adaptability within artistic practice. He emphasizes that improvisation allows for a fluid exchange between himself and the music, suggesting a mature understanding of the interplay between the artist and their medium. This adaptability, coupled with a willingness to embrace uncertainty, reflects a deeper maturity in his approach to art.
Love and Artistic Growth
At the core of these artists’ experiences lies the recognition that their relationships with their artistic worlds profoundly impact their personal and professional growth. Love in this context acts as a catalyst for resilience, enabling artists to confront challenges and navigate the complexities of their creative journeys. Each artist’s engagement with their art serves as a reflection of their capacity to grow and adapt, ultimately contributing to their artistic development.
Quincey’s improvisation practice exemplifies how love and freedom coexist within the artistic framework. She articulates, “Improvisation allows you to be able to show what you naturally do,” highlighting how the relationship fosters self-expression and personal exploration. The freedom to move without constraints nurtures an environment where creativity can flourish, creating a nurturing space for personal growth.
Nien’s journey reveals the intricate dance between love and control. Her realization that relinquishing control can be transformative underscores the necessity of trust in her artistic relationships. As she navigates the complexities of composition, she embraces the idea that flexibility and responsiveness are essential for growth, illustrating how love can manifest through the willingness to evolve.
Jonathan’s experience of being led by his artistic world exemplifies the collaborative nature of love in artistic practice. His recognition that improvisation allows for a dynamic interplay between his ideas and the music speaks to the mutual influence that characterizes this relationship. This collaborative process fosters a sense of belonging and connection, enriching his artistic experience.
Conclusion
The platonic love between artists and their artistic worlds is a multifaceted relationship characterized by emotional depth, vulnerability, and mutual influence. Through the voices of Quincey Kawahara, Nien Chin Chai, and Jonathan Moon, we gain insight into the intricate dynamics that define their connections with their art forms. The love language they employ reflects the richness of their experiences, shaped by factors such as age, industry, and personal journeys.
Ultimately, this exploration reveals that the relationship between artists and their artistic worlds is not static; it is a living dialogue that evolves over time. Love, in this context, becomes a powerful force that nurtures creativity, fosters growth, and illuminates the complex tapestry of human expression. Through their art, these individuals articulate their emotional landscapes and navigate the intricate interplay between self and artistic world, creating a profound legacy that resonates far beyond their individual experiences.
Section 4 & Epilogue
About interviewing myself after I interviewed the artists & etc
The reason I did not include any interviews about myself in the previous sections is that I wanted to address my interview separately. After my performance of “Artistory,” one of the questions that arose during the post-production Q&A was, “Have you done your interview after finishing interviewing the artists? Did your perspective change or were you impacted in any way?” While conducting this research, I found evidence of something I’ve believed for a long time: that my interview answers were impacted, but my overall conclusion was not.
My understanding of the relationship between artists and their artistic worlds broadened significantly through this process. The interview section, Chapter 4: Love Wins All, provided me with rich insights, showing that every artist has a different shape, color, and style of love. I was able to see this through the choice of words they used.
For instance, Jonathan Moon emphasized trust in his relationship with the artistic realm, suggesting that the love artists feel for their creative world requires time and patience to cultivate. He poignantly stated, “I believe artistic worlds can exist only when one believes that their artistic world is truly their own. They know what they like and what they love, which shapes their artistic world.” This perspective resonated deeply with me, highlighting the significance of self-belief in fostering a loving relationship with one’s art. Nien Chin offered another compelling viewpoint, revealing the complexities of his artistic relationship. He articulated that, although he loves his artistic world, he sometimes feels it as a one-sided relationship, expressing, “I love it, but I haven't felt the love from it.” This sentiment reflects the struggles many artists face in seeking reciprocity from their artistic endeavors.
[Jonathan Moon]
Q. If you were born again, would you choose to live in your artistic world again?
A. Yes.
Q. Do you believe there’s love between you and your artistic world?
A. Y...es.
Q. If so, how is it different from the love you can experience with humans?
A. In a physical way, it is obviously different. Humans are visible, but the artistic realm is not.
However, I don’t feel there is much difference in the way we love. It is the same; I need to get to know them, which requires time and patience. Perhaps the difference is that we can receive feedback directly (in the artistic world) as it occurs within our minds.
Q. How would you describe the love between you and your artistic world in one word?
A. “TRUST.” I believe artistic worlds can exist only when one believes that their artistic world is truly their own. They know what they like and what they love, which shapes their artistic world.
When they believe their artistic worlds truly exist, they can genuinely love their world, and finally, the world can love them back.
Nien's insight that this love can be “boundless” and “embracing” also emphasizes the emotional depth that art can offer, showcasing how the relationship can be as profound as human connections, even if it lacks verbal communication.
[Nien Chin Chai]
Q. The first question will be: If you were born again, would you choose to live in your artistic world again?
A. I wish it could be smoother. It's too harsh and has changed my personality and everything. Yeah, but...
Q. It changed your personality?
A. I guess more or less, yes. Losing control means that you can't be as controlling anymore. You just have to let things go and give space for things to develop, reacting very flexibly instead of trying to have everything organized and going exactly the way you want. But I believe that's a microaspect of life as well. If I were born again, I would still wish to be an artist—a composer, a musician, or anything related to the arts.
Q. Do you believe there's a love between you and your artistic world?
A. Well, for now, I see it as a one-sided relationship. I love it, but I haven't felt the love from it. Well, yeah, just for this film, this year. It hasn't been as responsive as before, so this has been a struggle for me as well. But I believe that things will progress.
Q. Do you feel it's like a love relationship? It sounds like that, though.
A. I've never been in a love relationship, so I'm not sure. But probably, yes. It resonates at some point, right?
Q. I think the next question is: If so, how is it different from the love you can experience with humans? I think it doesn't have to be like the love experiences we typically think of—like boyfriend, girlfriend, or partners—but rather how this love is kind of different or similar to human relationships.
A. It's fluctuating. Sometimes you find it quite similar, but sometimes not. However, I believe that at the core, it's quite different. When it comes to humans, it relies a lot on language, verbal interactions, and physical contact. We have a very direct response in human relationships. Whereas in music, it seems like we're just doing something. However, there’s this intangible, tantalizing, and real force that truly supports you. It doesn’t give you an immediate response like words, but you can feel it. Sometimes it's even quicker than words. It’s not always silent.
Q. So it's like a soul.
A. Yes, it's like a soul, basically.
Q. The last question will be: How would you describe the love between you and your artistic world in one word?
A. This is a challenging one.
Q. You can pick a few words, or you can divide them by periods. Take your time.
A. Boundless. It's unlimited. It's immense. You feel like you're just wrapped in it. You don't have to pursue it; you're already inside it. It's so vast that you can't tell where it ends. You can't see where it ends. It’s very embracing.
Quincey's reflections provided a contrasting yet complementary perspective on this theme. When asked whether she would choose to live in his artistic world again, she shared, “I couldn’t imagine not having dance in my life.” Her enthusiasm underscores the deep-rooted love that can exist between an artist and their craft. She acknowledged that while dance cannot communicate in words, it offers a nurturing presence, saying, “If you love something enough, it will nourish you, and that is it giving back to you.” This reciprocal nourishment exemplifies the unique ways that love manifests in artistic relationships, highlighting the emotional support that art can provide.
[Quincey Kawahara]
Q. This is kind of cliché, but if you were born again, would you choose to live in your artistic world again?
A. Oh, that's sweet. Um, yeah, I would redo it like a hundred times over. I couldn’t imagine not having dance in my life. But also, I think it would be interesting to explore many different artistic avenues. So, if I were born again, I would absolutely dance. It would also be really cool to pick up an instrument or see if singing is my thing. I played the flute for fun, but not to the point where you fall out of love with it because it's all-consuming. Being familiar with music goes hand in hand with being a dancer. I think understanding music deeply is beneficial as a dancer. I struggle with that a little bit, so if I could go back to my younger self, or if I were born again, it would be cool to see how that could further my artistic endeavors.
Q. So the second question would be, do you believe there's love between you and your artistic world?
A. Yeah, I think there is love. I don’t know if it’s necessarily the exact same sort of love you have with people, but I think love is such a spectrum. You can love many different things for many different reasons and to varying degrees. There absolutely is love and passion between me and my artistic world. I don’t think everyone in the arts necessarily loves what they do, but I would hope they do because you don’t want to pursue something you don’t love and give it your all. Even if my art world can’t tangibly love me back, I feel that it fuels me in so many ways, making it feel reciprocated.
Q. You literally connected to the third question because the third question was about how that love differs from the love you can experience with humans.
A. Yeah, well, I mean, I can’t tell dance I love it and hear dance tell me it loves me back. There’s no verbal communication. But if you love something enough, it will nourish you, and that is it giving back to you. It is mutually beneficial.
Q. It never betrays you, does it?
A. Yeah, it never betrays you. I mean, it can betray you, but not in the same way because if anything, it would be my decision to sever the tie between me and dance. It would never do that on its own. It’s always my decision at the end of the day. But yeah, it’s still beautiful. It’s so different. It’s different, but feeling-wise, it can be reminiscent of human love.
Q. Yeah.
A. It's different.
Q. Yeah, you actually gave me a lot of insight. I answered this in the same way.
A. That's so funny.
Q. For me, love is that it loves me back. That’s the only thing that never betrays me in this world. Everything else might betray me. How would you describe the love between you and your artist world in one word?
A. That's a good one. I'm going to need a second to think and pick a singular word.
Q. Take your time. Take your time. Because it's really hard. It can be two words. It can be three words. Yeah. Just say everything that comes to mind.
A. Yeah, well, the first word that comes to my mind, I don't think necessarily fits it best, but I'll just say it because it was the first thing to pop into my head. And if something else comes to me, I will also say it. But my first thought was the word "forgiving." It's a forgiving love. Like, I think there's this understanding that it will always be there and will always accept, you know, when my love dips. But it will always be there again.
I think I also feel the same way about it. Like, I don't know, there's a gentleness and a forgiving quality. Or I guess maybe the other way to describe it is that it's a gentle love. It's so hard because I think there's this duality of it being so passionate and so fiery. When you think of your passions, you think of them at this heightened level. But when I think of the word "love," I also kind of think of it in a more tender sense. I think my love for dance feels like a very safe, tender love. It's not this highly volatile, "go different ways" type of love. It's like, yeah, it's like a trust. There are so many new words coming to mind. But, yeah, I’ll trust that it will always be there. I give what I need to give, and it gives me what I need to receive. I don’t need much more. Yeah, that’s so many words; you pick one.
These interviews made me reflect on my own relationship with my artistic world, which feels very much like a love relationship—one that’s eternal and has no betrayal. Until I interviewed the featured artists, I couldn’t fully expand my view to embrace a single-sided love or relationship with their principal instruments or essential tools. Instruments and tools can indeed be the artistic world itself, but they can also be mere conduits that shape that world. It was both fascinating and enlightening to see how various artists express their love for their creative realms and how they communicate their feelings to one another. Looking forward, I am eager to develop this research further by exploring the perspectives of senior artists and differently-abled artists. I believe this research can help artists unite globally, support one another, and foster a deeper understanding that leads to the emergence of new ideas within the artistic community. Art has the transformative power to change individuals profoundly, while love stands as the strongest force in this world, capable of making every obstacle seem insignificant. Through our shared experiences and connections, each individual can unite as one immense energy, working together to change the world for the better. In this ideal realm, there would be no assumptions and no discrimination, allowing art and love to flourish in harmony, enriching our lives and the lives of those around us. In conclusion, my journey through this research has deepened my appreciation for the intricate relationships artists have with their crafts. It has reinforced my belief in the necessity of love within these connections and the potential it holds for transforming not just the individual, but the entire artistic community. As I continue this exploration, I am hopeful that my findings will illuminate the path for future artists, guiding them towards a more profound understanding of their relationships with their artistic worlds.
<References (Interviews)>
To protect the artists and their personal information, the full transcripts of the artist interviews will not be made public. However, the excerpts included have been taken from the original interview audio and transcripts that have been verified by the artists. Please understand that confirmation of the full interview transcripts will only be considered for clear reasons and personal requests. (Click the button below to view the 'T4 Participant Consent Form.')
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Choi, Susie. Interview with Nien Chin Chai. 21 September 2024.
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Choi, Susie. Interview with Quincey Kawahara. 21 September 2024.
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Choi, Susie. Interview with Jonathan Moon. 17 September 2024.